As a Life Coach and Breathwork Therapist, my role is to teach people the emotional skills that empower them to heal, find balance, and love well. And of all those skills, none may be as essential as the skill of uprooting from within ourselves one of the most destructive forms of emotional imprinting we receive growing up – Get Over It – and replacing it with empathy.
To me, those three words have singlehandedly done more to destroy our ability to be emotionally healthy than anything else I can think of. If there is one generic dysfunction that you would find in virtually every home in America, in one form or another, it would be the one-size-fits-all, lowest common denominator solution to the challenges of emotional development: Life Isn’t Fair – Get Over It.
There comes a point in working with clients when their healing process brings them to a place within themselves that they don’t easily recognize, and that place is the need to truly rest emotionally. Or to say it another way, their healing won’t really progress any further until they can learn how to rest, which means how to digest and assimilate the work that they have done up to that point while accepting what is incomplete.
In my healing program, doing our healing work begins by seeing our unconscious patterns and taking responsibility for our reactive emotions. These initial stages require us to open our hearts and identify the impact that our families and relationships have had on us – and that we have had on ourselves. That means becoming vulnerable to the truth that the painful impact of all of this has created grief in our hearts. The journey into embracing all of the emotional layers that hold our unprocessed grief is an act of courage, commitment and power. We must learn to breathe, feel new emotions, take the risk of learning the skills of healthy confrontation and setting boundaries, and then discover what it means to move forward in our lives with new self-love.